Sunday 9 May 2010

not so pretty

ive always know im in 'not so pretty, but funny friend' and its something ive accepted.
sure, i could try and be one of the skinny girls.
wear the right make up and the right clothes.
look like the norm, the norm that we've been told countless times by the media that we need to strive for. 
but ive never really wanted to.
ive always known i was a bit funny looking, too big to be called sexy, i have a habit of putting my foot in my mouth alot of the time, and have been told im not 'cool' enough too many times to count.
but it never really bothered me.

people have said theres something about me that still gets me noticed, im not sure whether its a good thing or not. 
sometimes being noticed backfires on me, i get noticed for the wrong reason. 
having abuse shouted at you across the road just because someone doesnt like the way you look, or feels the need to announce that your arse is too big for their liking is horrible. a lovely day can come crashing down because of some loudmouth. 
i'll be walking with my usual bounce, then my shoulders will slump because some stranger knows exactly how to hit home.

im the friend who always has a smile on her face, whether or not its genuine, just to try and bring a smile to people around me. i dont like the ones i love being sad, and as we all know a smile is contagious. 

i like being a little bit wierd, not quite normal. its nice to know i dont need to conform to whats in fashion, whats normal, whats accepted today.
but sometimes, it just seems as if it would be easier to be one of 'those girls', who wear the right clothes, look the right way and sit there with a plastic smile on their face doing what they're meant to do to attract the opposite sex.
but that wouldnt be me.
so it might be easier on the surface, but underneath id be empty.
so it looks like its staying like a bit of a freak :)

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